Microhoo! Courtship Continues a la Meatloaf

So there is a flurry of activity over the last week between these two lovebirds.

5 April 2008 - Wired has "Microsoft Threatens to Go Hostile on Yahoo". According to Microsoft, since Yahoo! did not respond to its offer back in Feb, the jilted lover wants to enter formal talks with his love. If not, then he will go to talk to her mommy and daddy directly:

"If we have not concluded an agreement within the next three weeks, we will be compelled to take our case directly to your shareholders, including the initiation of a proxy contest to elect an alternative slate of directors for the Yahoo! board. The substantial premium reflected in our initial proposal anticipated a friendly transaction with you. If we are forced to take an offer directly to your shareholders, that action will have an undesirable impact on the value of your company from our perspective which will be reflected in the terms of our proposal."

The press release from the Microsoft here.

Also: "During these two months of inactivity, the Internet has continued to march on, while the public equity markets and overall economic conditions have weakened considerably, both in general and for other Internet-focused companies in particular. At the same time, public indicators suggest that Yahoo!’s search and page view shares have declined."

Translation: When you come out into the light, your age shows. We know what you look like and take the one-carat diamond that we offered. 'cos you should only be getting 3/4 carat.

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7 April 2008 - The lovely Yahoo! maiden (choke. choke. aheh..ugh..) responds with a "Dear Steve" letter. Jerry is still flirting. Y! did not do a "Dear Mr. BALLmer" (mocking, superior tone signifying "oh pleeeaase, go away already!") or a "Dear Stephen" (formal, genteel way of asking for "mo' money mo' money MOFO!". A "Dear Steve" is like "I know I am up there in age and past my prime, but you gotta give me some respect ... and some mo' money mo' money MOFO!" See the letter here.

Jerry signs of the letter with: "we will not allow you or anyone else to acquire the company for anything less than its full value."

Translation: "Mo' money. You may be rich, but you are still a geek. Geeks need to pay a premium for pretty ladies. After all, at my age, I need Botox and some skillful scalpels to keep me pretty. And that don't come cheap here in the Valley, honeychild. This ain't Seattle."

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Anyway, I am listening to Meatloaf on my iPhone right now and it seems appropriate to this situation.

As Meatloaf (i.e. Microsoft) sang: "I want you. I need you. But I ain't never gonna love you.... Two out of three ain't bad."

Come on Yahoo!... Can't you see Paradise By The Dashboard Lights?